15 Comments
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Karin Flodstrom's avatar

Great article as usual. If people think trophy wives are the lucky ones in a patriarchy, they don’t know what it’s like to be a trophy wife. No woman wins in the patriarchy just as no woman wins in a culture obsessed with beauty.

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Sylvia Compean's avatar

Right, but who’s getting in the club for free bc it’s not me and my girls lol we pay just like the men do then pay extra to be in VIP to be away from them. If anything they’re making it harder for us to just go out with the girls without being harassed all night. Patriarchy is detrimental to all of us. I’m Latina and indigenous but the patriarchy runs deeeeep in the Latino communities. I’m glad you’re out here sending this message reminding us that our fight is with them not us.

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Paula's avatar

I stopped going because it's too expensive between the entry fee and the mark up on drinks, lol. So me and my friends ain't getting in for free either.

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Sayon Dore's avatar

“They go in the hopes of meeting a woman, buying her a drink and taking her home. We’re not let in because the bar owners think women deserve a fun free night out, we’re let in because we’re the products the male customers are there to purchase.” Exactly!! This was such a good read

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Dikabelo's avatar

As difficult as it is to sit with the sickening reality that patriarchy does not protect women and there is no escaping its wrath etc, can at least misogyny leave women alone??? Patriarchy and misogyny are deeply intertwined but for us to move forward, men can start somewhere too. Great article Paris

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Paula's avatar

Your account was one of the first ones I discovered when I signed up for substack six months ago and I still love coming back to it and reading your writing.

I was sceptical when I read the title of this one, but as per usual it's an incredible text!

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stopfemicide's avatar

porn with women is more arousing and less violent than porn with men 🌹

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The Sociology of Music Videos's avatar

"we’re let in because we’re the products the male customers are there to purchase." woah.

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MARLENE's avatar

“Sitting with that sickening reality is the only way forward.” 🚬🚬 ta madre

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Daisy Buchanan's avatar

I think another way forward apart from sitting with the reality that their is no way to assimilate and appease the patriarchy, is by constantly reiterating to ourselves as women and to our female friends and young girls, that in life you do not give yourself a fight chance if you do not firstly believe in yourself and secondly prioritise the things that YOU want (tuning out any outside noise) and literally looking to yourself to get get the answers to “what is it that I actually want”.

This way, just as bars allow woman to enter for free for their own agendas, woman will learn to allow a man into their lives to “Lead&Provide” for them in alliance to their own agenda.

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r.'s avatar

this article is beautifully written thank you! just subscribed <3

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Crimson's avatar

I am happy every time a woman sees the harm of “porn”. So so many do not!

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Crimson's avatar

Any respectable man wants internet pornography banned, including the entire patriarchy. Dont blame that one on us.

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Chela Weitzel's avatar

Thanks for such a great post!

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Kiauna's avatar

Thank you.

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