I remember that when my boobs started growing, I was feeling ashamed of it because in my classroom it became a subject of discussion. From my teacher to my classmates. From using me as an example of a woman normal evolution (I guess) to someone asking what size of bra I was wearing... In 5th grade!
And as I was talking with a male friend of mine about feminism and society I realized that I was conditioned to see them as a kind of burden, they became tits for society. And you got to be aware of it 24/7. Are my nipples too visible? I cannot go out without my bra. Can I? Will I not disturb others? ... The day I started not to care about all of that I reclaimed my boobs.
As someone who grew boobs in primary school and who wasn’t taught how to care for them meaning I started wearing a bras very late I loved reading this. I used to walk in a certain position that to make my chest smaller😭😭😭. I hated sport classes because that meant I had to hold them while running or jumping and everyone stared at me.
Then I became an adult. I hate that we have to wear bras to hide or give a different shape to the boobs. I hate how capitalism profits of the woman’s body from head to toes. Bras are uncomfortable, expensive and they never fit well, at least for me.
My ex husband was shocked when I told him how developing breasts was humiliating and I did my best to hide them for years. He was like, "but why weren't you so proud?? Don't girls enjoy becoming sexy and having something all the boys want??" (Yes he's an ex for a reason.) "Becoming sexy" was exactly the problem. I didn't feel sexy and I didn't want any attention from boys in that way.
Having visible breasts was having a target on my chest that marked me as sexual prey to the boys and men around me.
To this day it irritates me that I have to pretend not to have nipples and ensure my breasts move as little as possible, even though *everyone knows women have breasts with nipples on them!* It's like asking men to pretend they don't have an adams apple or biceps or some shit even though that's completely normal and we all know they do.
great piece !! what I find about male entitlement is that boobs are tits only when they look a certain way. when boobs change shape and function to birth, feed, and raise a child—they expose male entitlement because now it isn’t about men anymore! I’m so furious when men believe it’s okay to suggest a woman has become ugly or “not how she used to be” just because her boobs changed, either due to pregnancy or other medical reasons. boobs have always been about this weird hyper visibility I didn’t ask for nor know what to do with. as I grow older, I’ve forced myself to grow the habit of calling out forms entitlement and normalized exploitation of women’s bodies!
As a girl who started growing boobs before 4th grade, this hit home. I started feeling pain in my chest confused, until my mother told me that I was growing them.
I was fine at the point, until they grew to a size larger than all my classmates at the time. I remember sitting in our puberty discussion, eyes all on me when we talked about the female anatomy💀.
Even now, I feel self conscious in the tops I wear and the outfits I put together, because I feel like my boobs “ruin the outfit”. I wouldn’t even say it’s just the eyes of perverted men, but the culture developed in recent years where having a slightly larger chest (I don’t even mean one that limits one’s lifestyle, like a D or DD) is seen as “unattractive”.
i believe the show big mouth does a good job at portraying this experience! character jessi was so excited to buy her first real bra. a womanly red color. she struts into school wearing it but boys in the hall just sexualize her, and she throws the bra away, defeated. she just graduated from a training bra but now her new exciting boobs are just, sexy tits..
I remember when my boobs grew in high school - suddenly all hugs from boys and men around me were tighter and longer. I always knew it was wrong for them to change their treatment of me, I just didn’t have the language for it at the time. Boys in my high school would literally talk to me and gawk at my boobs, completely disregarding my humanity and literally reducing me to a pair of “tits”.
I rememeber carrying a lot of shame when I grew boobs. Someone even asserted I was lying when I said I wore an A cup they insisted my boobs were the same size as their moms. When I met their mom, they clearly had bigger boobs than mine. I had to hide by slouching which led to back pains in my early twenties. It really affected me in ways I cannot fathom.
As a K Cup woman, and now a kuerig one, I can so relate…. I am in my fifties and am still being objectified and asked very sexual questions…. My boobs have been a source of pain and shame for me for years
i find myself at a loss for words when i want to describe my breasts sexually. “boobs” is too plain, not serious enough. “titties” is for myself and my girls. “tits” is vulgar and a man’s word.
i wonder at the lack of vocabulary that presents this body part as an extension of my adult female pleasure; it must be by design. to not be able to speak of our desire means that our pleasure will be silenced.
I remember in primary school when the other girls grew boobs and I saw how the boys treated them, always grabbing them and stuff like that. I got so scared that mine would grow and I'd have to suffer through that.
My boobs started growing in primary and I didn’t really pay that much attention to much. We learnt about it in science so I thought it was normal. Until a boy in my class said that I had the biggest boobs and suddenly that’s all the boys could talk about. I made sure my shirts were not too tight to show my growing chest and I’ve been so conscious about my boobs my whole adolescent life.
This deeply resonated with me. My boobs grew rapidly in fifth grade and so did the torment from peers, teachers, family and total strangers. Thank you for this piece 🙏🏻
I loved that piece.
I remember that when my boobs started growing, I was feeling ashamed of it because in my classroom it became a subject of discussion. From my teacher to my classmates. From using me as an example of a woman normal evolution (I guess) to someone asking what size of bra I was wearing... In 5th grade!
And as I was talking with a male friend of mine about feminism and society I realized that I was conditioned to see them as a kind of burden, they became tits for society. And you got to be aware of it 24/7. Are my nipples too visible? I cannot go out without my bra. Can I? Will I not disturb others? ... The day I started not to care about all of that I reclaimed my boobs.
what they did to you in class is so horrible! I'm happy you're doing better now!
“will [my nipples] disturb others?” is so real. and so laughable when you really think about it!
As someone who grew boobs in primary school and who wasn’t taught how to care for them meaning I started wearing a bras very late I loved reading this. I used to walk in a certain position that to make my chest smaller😭😭😭. I hated sport classes because that meant I had to hold them while running or jumping and everyone stared at me.
Then I became an adult. I hate that we have to wear bras to hide or give a different shape to the boobs. I hate how capitalism profits of the woman’s body from head to toes. Bras are uncomfortable, expensive and they never fit well, at least for me.
My ex husband was shocked when I told him how developing breasts was humiliating and I did my best to hide them for years. He was like, "but why weren't you so proud?? Don't girls enjoy becoming sexy and having something all the boys want??" (Yes he's an ex for a reason.) "Becoming sexy" was exactly the problem. I didn't feel sexy and I didn't want any attention from boys in that way.
Having visible breasts was having a target on my chest that marked me as sexual prey to the boys and men around me.
To this day it irritates me that I have to pretend not to have nipples and ensure my breasts move as little as possible, even though *everyone knows women have breasts with nipples on them!* It's like asking men to pretend they don't have an adams apple or biceps or some shit even though that's completely normal and we all know they do.
great piece !! what I find about male entitlement is that boobs are tits only when they look a certain way. when boobs change shape and function to birth, feed, and raise a child—they expose male entitlement because now it isn’t about men anymore! I’m so furious when men believe it’s okay to suggest a woman has become ugly or “not how she used to be” just because her boobs changed, either due to pregnancy or other medical reasons. boobs have always been about this weird hyper visibility I didn’t ask for nor know what to do with. as I grow older, I’ve forced myself to grow the habit of calling out forms entitlement and normalized exploitation of women’s bodies!
you're absolutely right!
As a girl who started growing boobs before 4th grade, this hit home. I started feeling pain in my chest confused, until my mother told me that I was growing them.
I was fine at the point, until they grew to a size larger than all my classmates at the time. I remember sitting in our puberty discussion, eyes all on me when we talked about the female anatomy💀.
Even now, I feel self conscious in the tops I wear and the outfits I put together, because I feel like my boobs “ruin the outfit”. I wouldn’t even say it’s just the eyes of perverted men, but the culture developed in recent years where having a slightly larger chest (I don’t even mean one that limits one’s lifestyle, like a D or DD) is seen as “unattractive”.
i believe the show big mouth does a good job at portraying this experience! character jessi was so excited to buy her first real bra. a womanly red color. she struts into school wearing it but boys in the hall just sexualize her, and she throws the bra away, defeated. she just graduated from a training bra but now her new exciting boobs are just, sexy tits..
I remember when my boobs grew in high school - suddenly all hugs from boys and men around me were tighter and longer. I always knew it was wrong for them to change their treatment of me, I just didn’t have the language for it at the time. Boys in my high school would literally talk to me and gawk at my boobs, completely disregarding my humanity and literally reducing me to a pair of “tits”.
I rememeber carrying a lot of shame when I grew boobs. Someone even asserted I was lying when I said I wore an A cup they insisted my boobs were the same size as their moms. When I met their mom, they clearly had bigger boobs than mine. I had to hide by slouching which led to back pains in my early twenties. It really affected me in ways I cannot fathom.
I completely understand. I'm so sorry!
Everyday I am grateful you share your brain
thank you so much!
Ouch. Disturbingly relatable!
demure
As a K Cup woman, and now a kuerig one, I can so relate…. I am in my fifties and am still being objectified and asked very sexual questions…. My boobs have been a source of pain and shame for me for years
i find myself at a loss for words when i want to describe my breasts sexually. “boobs” is too plain, not serious enough. “titties” is for myself and my girls. “tits” is vulgar and a man’s word.
i wonder at the lack of vocabulary that presents this body part as an extension of my adult female pleasure; it must be by design. to not be able to speak of our desire means that our pleasure will be silenced.
I remember in primary school when the other girls grew boobs and I saw how the boys treated them, always grabbing them and stuff like that. I got so scared that mine would grow and I'd have to suffer through that.
My boobs started growing in primary and I didn’t really pay that much attention to much. We learnt about it in science so I thought it was normal. Until a boy in my class said that I had the biggest boobs and suddenly that’s all the boys could talk about. I made sure my shirts were not too tight to show my growing chest and I’ve been so conscious about my boobs my whole adolescent life.
This deeply resonated with me. My boobs grew rapidly in fifth grade and so did the torment from peers, teachers, family and total strangers. Thank you for this piece 🙏🏻