The boogeyman named “misandry”

Fearing “I hate all men” posts only makes you hate women.

Anti-feminists and men’s rights activists will stomp their feet in the ground insisting that misandry is not only real, it is a legitimate threat to the safety and dignity of men and boys. Anti-feminists will point to viral “all men suck” or “I hate all men” posts to prove their point.

I, of course, find this fear of misandry laughable but many feminists have internalized men’s outrage over it and have chosen to routinely denounce misandry as a way of making their feminism more palatable.

I recently watched a debate on feminism where a feminist defended the idea that feminism is for everyone and that any version of feminism that doesn’t include or benefit men is illegitimate. I couldn’t agree less.

While it annoys me, I find this “women’s rights helps everyone” version of feminism deeply understandable. Since birth, women are bred to be accommodating and likable. Being highly aware of the feelings and reactions of other people, especially men, is a core tenant of female socialization.

Men find feminism, a movement exclusively about the betterment of women, threatening. There are not many places where the feelings and preferences of men are not centered. Because women are made to prioritize men’s feelings, many feminists work to contort their politics to be something men find appealing. Thus, the concept of feminism being for women and men.

The truth is, men’s fear of misandry is disingenuous. Misandry is almost always only brought up to silence feminist criticism.

“But Paris,” you say, “isn’t saying ‘I hate all men’ unnecessarily rude and hostile towards men? We need men as our allies, misandry is hurting us!” That would be true if, a, misandry was real, and b, we needed men to advance feminist agendas.

Misandry, even in its worst offenses, is simply a case of punching up. A woman saying she hates all men might be offensive to some guys, but it doesn’t change the reality that women are systematically disadvantaged and men are not. The worst thing misandry does to a man is hurt his feelings, the worst thing patriarchy does to a woman is rape her than allow her abuser to walk free.

Acting like the impact of misandry and patriarchy are the same is to ignore the reality of female suffering everywhere. Feminism is for women and girls because they are the vulnerable group.

Additionally, men are actually not needed in order to advance feminist policies, numbers are. Women make up over half the world population. Women advocating for their own self interests is already powerful enough to make change.

Don’t fall for the sexist lie that twitter posts making harmless jabs at men somehow levels out the suffering between men and women. When you do so, you are falling for the patriarchy’s attempt to ignore your own subjugation.