The take i was waiting to hear. We raise women to be “open hearted” and “lover girls” and then treat them so coldly. The victim blaming has got to stop
I had the same shocked reaction when I saw the discourse surrounding the girl’s video! It seemed everyone was so used to men leading girls on that they all accused her of falling for it. For not seeing it coming. I think this is a dangerous accusation, why should she have engaged with the world in fear of someone blatantly lying to her? She accepted what was given to her and it was blatantly taken back— but she is the one to shame? It’s kind of like people are saying “well duh, she stuck her hand in the lion’s mouth, what did she expect?” But men are not lions, they are just as human as women. The argument that women need to stop centering men is important but we simultaneously need to hold men accountable. That man should be on the stands facing just as much fury. Otherwise, women will continue to carry the burden of fixing our society alone.
Women are definitely socialized to be masochists. We do women and girls a disservice by over romanticizing relationships. While men are pragmatic in their romantic dealings, women are on a fantastical delusional island with their girlfriends. Things and people are who and what they are not what we imagine they are or should be. I wish more of us dated like men.
So much truth. It reminds me of a post I saw earlier about there not being such a thing as a homewrecker and it's actually the man who's to blame because why did he let her in
I agree that the victim blaming that women experience in romantic relationships is something that society needs to reflect on. However having also watched the video referenced in this article, I have to point out that there are some factors concerning the way the woman interacted with her ‘gym crush’ that I found to be ‘off putting’(for lack of a better word). 1) this masculine and feminine energy talk is incredibly distasteful to anyone; I found myself asking what she meant by that, what if he didn’t want to be seen in a so called “masculine way” This sort of rhetoric is closely associated with the Mano sphere and red pill content. 2)Love bombing:Them having only becoming romantically involved recently and the woman being emotionally vulnerable so quickly; regardless of gender can lead to someone becoming uncomfortable. In psychology there is a term called self disclosure, that essentially explains how emotionally vulnerability when attempting to develop a relationship should be regulated in a way: disclosing so much or such dense personal information when you don’t know someone that well can have a negative effect on the development on that relationship. Now obviously idk the details so I can only give my opinion based on the context given.
The take i was waiting to hear. We raise women to be “open hearted” and “lover girls” and then treat them so coldly. The victim blaming has got to stop
I love the compassion. I felt seen reading this.
exactly!
Truth.
I had the same shocked reaction when I saw the discourse surrounding the girl’s video! It seemed everyone was so used to men leading girls on that they all accused her of falling for it. For not seeing it coming. I think this is a dangerous accusation, why should she have engaged with the world in fear of someone blatantly lying to her? She accepted what was given to her and it was blatantly taken back— but she is the one to shame? It’s kind of like people are saying “well duh, she stuck her hand in the lion’s mouth, what did she expect?” But men are not lions, they are just as human as women. The argument that women need to stop centering men is important but we simultaneously need to hold men accountable. That man should be on the stands facing just as much fury. Otherwise, women will continue to carry the burden of fixing our society alone.
Women are definitely socialized to be masochists. We do women and girls a disservice by over romanticizing relationships. While men are pragmatic in their romantic dealings, women are on a fantastical delusional island with their girlfriends. Things and people are who and what they are not what we imagine they are or should be. I wish more of us dated like men.
So much truth. It reminds me of a post I saw earlier about there not being such a thing as a homewrecker and it's actually the man who's to blame because why did he let her in
I agree that the victim blaming that women experience in romantic relationships is something that society needs to reflect on. However having also watched the video referenced in this article, I have to point out that there are some factors concerning the way the woman interacted with her ‘gym crush’ that I found to be ‘off putting’(for lack of a better word). 1) this masculine and feminine energy talk is incredibly distasteful to anyone; I found myself asking what she meant by that, what if he didn’t want to be seen in a so called “masculine way” This sort of rhetoric is closely associated with the Mano sphere and red pill content. 2)Love bombing:Them having only becoming romantically involved recently and the woman being emotionally vulnerable so quickly; regardless of gender can lead to someone becoming uncomfortable. In psychology there is a term called self disclosure, that essentially explains how emotionally vulnerability when attempting to develop a relationship should be regulated in a way: disclosing so much or such dense personal information when you don’t know someone that well can have a negative effect on the development on that relationship. Now obviously idk the details so I can only give my opinion based on the context given.