How p*rn turns women into masochists
Porn is teaching people how to have sex, and the education women are getting is that they better like getting hurt.
The average age kids find pornography for the first time is 12-years-old, well before the first time they would have had a sexual experience, let alone a romantic one. Finding this material during some of their most sensitive formative years means the images are uncritically absorbed and end up functioning as educational material on how sex is had.
The vast majority of pornography is violent sexual acts being done by men to women, with one of the most famous tropes being incest. As one of the first exposures to the concept of sex, these violent acts and depraved fetishes work as a blueprint to tell the viewers not only what their role in sex is, but also other peoples.
Porn tells boys to behave violently during sex and it informs girls to receive that violence. When boys and girls get older, boys approach girls expecting them to behave like the women they watch in porn. For a myriad of reasons, girls often feel cornered into embodying the sexual expectation men have.
As young people, these girls are in the early days of experiencing sexual and romantic desires for the opposite gender. When the guys that they like want them to be okay with getting choked in bed, they might feel like they have to let it happen if they want to be able to have a sexual experience with the person they like.
Men, even when they’re boys, are physically stronger than their female peers. There is a legitimate concern that if you say no to a man's sexual request then you’ll wind up forced or physically hurt. Additionally, women are already trained by our patriarchal society to be palatable and appealing to men. Saying no feels scary and scandalous.
All of this leads girls and women to feel like they have to accept the violent sexual practices done in porn. To go against it would be to potentially risk your physical safety, forgo sexual intimacy and go against the teachings you received your whole life to never tell a man no.
There also seems to be a misunderstanding from the pro-porn crowd that porn functions solely as entertainment, and that the audience understands that as well, but when the viewers are children, they have no way of knowing that what they're watching is not accurate to what “real” sex is.
People often defend violent sexual acts, kink and BDSM by saying it’s an innate unchanging aspect of peoples sexuality, we shouldn’t shame these things because peoples sexual desires are natural and uncontrollable. But how can that be the case when people are being exposed to violent sexual material before they even have a sexuality? There was no chance for them to evolve an independent sexuality separate from porns influence.
Of course, girls watch porn to, they are learning along with boys what their role in sex is. When women are being taught that sex involves them tolerating violence then it can lead to them genuinely desiring violence.
This is often the defense for violent sexual acts being done to women, “well what if that is what the girl genuinely wants!” The sexual acts that we normalize can not be based on what individual people like, but instead what is best for society. Women do not deserve violence during sex. Hurting them, regardless of if they want it, is wrong.
Rape, domestic violence, sexual assault, femicide, the subjugation of women through politics is all supported by porn. Normalizing women as the receivers of violent sexual acts encourages the idea that women enjoy violence and men are entitled to women’s bodies and actualizing their sexual interest. Regardless of anyone's genuine interests in violent sexual practices, this is not something that should be engaged with and encouraged.
If you were never exposed to violent sexual acts, either from porn or in conversation or music, these practices would seem completely bizarre. Why would someone be choked, slapped, hit, spit on, verbally degraded, tied up and whipped? All of these acts would be considered assault when not put in a sexual context, so what about it being done during sex makes it different? Nothing, other than that we’ve normalized it. To the un-pornified brain, this was never made normal. Let’s get back to that sanity and finally stop saying women should be masochists if they want to have sex.
Also just wanna add that some kids don’t even find porn they are put on to it . I remember when I was 7 my brother’s friend at that time I had made me watch porn I had no idea it was that. And when my brother saw what I had been watching he scolded me instead of his friend I was so confused and lost it was crazy for me. I hate that person who did that to me it and I can’t imagine all the people who have had a similar experience to me and then on top of that being sexually assaulted by my dads friend the next year and still not quiet knowing what was happening.
Porn is Terrorism at this point: the mass effects on the population are so widespread and inescapable: fear, anger, humiliation, regret, embarrassment, shame, insecurity, disillusionment, worried parents, anxious teens, lonely wives; the violence visited on women and girls behind closed doors; the deluge of content it gives pedos to hide behind; incels spitting hate online; sextortion, revenge, the jealousy-inducing content; the public undermining of everything sacred; the addiction of the hopelessly predisposed (autistic boys? Does anyone give a shit what we did to these poor boys?) the lie it puts to the veneer of civilization on display for impressionable minds; the way sex jokes used to be funny and now they're not because the whole vibe changed; the lies it tells women about what men want,and to men about what women want; the horrendous impact on the language; how it empowers the cruel and violent while it frightens the decent and naive; the ability for any fool to shove it my face at the drop of a hat (many cases); the way first dates, first kisses and first crushes are impacted; the relationships that will never happen or were damaged. All in a sexual way at a vulnerable stage in life (young, lonely, just broke up, etc.) It is such a particular kind of hurt to be damaged sexually. I am completely baffled at our "it was inevitable" attitude. I’m stunned. Look at all the regulations in the country, but anything sexual gets a free pass. Violence, cruelty, disrespect: it's bad, unless of course it’s sexual, then it must be assumed to be consensual. Because wE cAnT jUdGe AnYoNeS sEx LiFe. PoRn iS FiNe As LoNg aS nO oNe GeTs HuRt. Uh..ok. I know, I’m so passe and old fashioned. Silly me. Imagine, passing regulations to prevent predators from terrorizing society; somehow that’s inconceivable. There is no porn on Youtube (ta-da!) and it was taken for granted for a thousand years that this type of thing would be unimaginable to foist on young men because we don't need any help treating women like shit. I am mystified at the cavalier “Im on the fence about it” attitude and NEARLY TOTAL MEDIA BLACKOUT (why's that? hmmm) of its connection to misogyny, mass shootings, loneliness, Gisele Picolt, the grooming gangs, teen depression and anxiety, suicide etc. Half of Substack still justifying and minimizing this full time while claiming free speech is impeded if I cant send you a dick pick. WTF is everyone stupid? Yes, everyone is being very stupid. A personal thank you to anyone that bothers to read this and SAYS SOMETHING. Goodnight internet. Darn, I tried not to say it. Sorry KD but it helps me not to freak the fuck out. Have a great night dear imaginary person who cares to demand common sense regulation. Time for political action!